Ongoing thoughts on self-compassion ... and a MP3 to listen to.
If you stopped yourself at any given and noticed what you were saying to yourself about yourself, what would you hear?
This is a very good self-awareness practice because we talk to ourselves all day long and are barely aware of what we're saying.
In the spirit of fostering greater self-compassion, I try to do this regularly. I was doing it just this morning, in fact, and this is what I heard:
"What do you have to do today?" (The pivotal words being HAVE TO DO, a rather flimsy disguise for a "SHOULD". And self-imposed pressure!)
"You might be too tired to do that after the weekend. Maybe you should take it easy today." (A false statement if I ever heard one. I relaxed all Mother's Day weekend, even began Friday at noon! And I didn't actually feel tired as I'd had a great night's sleep.)
So, hearing these statements, and tapping into a deeper wisdom, I know that what I was saying to myself was definitely not true. So who was saying them?
An exercise like this is a good way to hear your critical inner voices: the parts of your "small self" (ego) that do a very good job at keeping you in fear or lack, worry or anxiety, or just plain disempowered ... falsely safe or small.
What else? When we uncover dialogue like this, you can hold yourself in self-compassionate awareness. When you begin to engage in inner listening, you become aware that you are saying all kinds of crazy things to yourself, many of which are just plain untrue or unkind! Rather than let it continue, you can begin to work more empathetically with your self-talk.
When you pause and listen to your inner dialogue, what do you hear yourself saying? Is it kind? Is it compassionate?
A few years ago I recorded a teaching called, "Tender Talk." I'd like to share it with you. It offers some kinder options when it comes to how we relate to ourselves; how to hold ourselves more gently (rather than critically), especially when life gets difficult or you feel pressured or stressed.
I hope you find it useful and that it will help you re-align with your true self—someone who is innately kind and loving—especially toward you!
My new book, My Deepest Me: A 30-Day Guided Journey, offers one month of short but sweet lessons in good self-awareness rooted in the practice self-compassion.
Have you taken a look at it yet?
Click here to learn more and read excerpts.
is a touchpoint. a resting place, a "remembering" of who we really are and how we can best live—kindly and compassionately with ourselves and others.
Janice Lynne Lundy, DMin
is an educator, interspiritual director/guide and retreat leader who has been pointing people back toward the Sacred for more than twenty years. She is the author of several spiritual growth books, including Your Truest Self, My Deepest Me and Portable Peace., and is the co-founder and co-director of the Spiritual Guidance Training Institute.