Dr. Janice Lundy
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Pure Presence 

                  Holding, Offering, and Being Presence
  for Yourself and Others 

When You've Run Out of Listening

11/14/2020

3 Comments

 
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Another post based on "these times" in which we are living. With ongoing tension around political views and concern about the state of the world, our ability to hold presence and listen well to others may be seriously stretched, even non-existent. Today, I present a few thoughts about this with a tiny practice that can help.

​Sometimes it's difficult to listen. As we engage with someone, intending to receive and honor their sharing, our listening may falter. We may grow weary or impatient; our attention may wander, or we outright lose interest. Depending on the situation, there are a number of ways to respond to this dilemma. Today, let's explore two of the solutions together.
 
1. Take an energizing breath to heighten your senses: a deep inhale (to the count of 8) and a shorter exhale (to the count of 6.) This can enliven you. It can help you re-focus.
 
2. Practice prayerful listening. Ask for assistance for what you need to be more present in the moment; to listen more purely, unconditionally. Sometimes, when I am sitting with someone, listening to them in a deeper way, I need help. Instead of continuing to struggle with being attentive, I turn my heart toward the Sacred and open it to receive assistance with this matter.
 
Sometimes it's a very simple bequest, "Open me." Or, "Help me to listen." Or, "Help me not want to talk so much!" Prayer is our reaching down and in, or out and beyond ourselves for courage and guidance when we need it the most.  Let us make good use of this in our listening as well. Ask for what you need and trust it will be given.

Adapted from Pure Presence: A Workbook and Journal
©2017, Janice L. Lundy

3 Comments
Kitty
11/16/2020 02:47:15 pm

Grateful for these tips, Jan, and for their power to remind me of the 12-Step prayer, 'Dear Universe/God, please use my heart for your Love of this difficult one'. The 'one' used to mean only a challenging person but over time it's come to mean this imediate situation including 'THIS One' (moi) - the entire Present.

Needed it just this weekend: my late best friend Sis's son, my godson, contacted me to report that his cherished step-dad had just died unexpectedly. He was acting controlled while feeling naturally helpless; my usual 'Calm Aunt Kitty' patience got pretty shaky! Prayerful reflection let me see why part of me wanted to shut down too, and then it freed me to be emotionally available in my own way. I'm still rattled by the loss and by my godson's pain, but my metta-powers are back. And reinforced by this timely PPB from thee!

Once again, breathing into and befriending discomfort has helped to release it! My favourite -- 'lotus-heart opening' -- eases me today ... All Shall Be Well, All Shall be Well, All Manner of Thing Shall Be Well.

Thanks as ever, dear Jan.

Reply
Nicole Waite
11/17/2020 07:36:51 am

Thank you for this message. Most needed at this time.

Reply
Carol Egan Immersion Health link
11/18/2020 07:25:01 am

Jan, your inner calm radiates from within this post like a magnet. I can't wait to begin Pure Presence. I'm projecting January.

Reply



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Dr. Janice Lynne Lundy (PsyD, DMin, MPC)
is The Gerald May Professor of Spiritual Direction & Counseling at the Graduate Theological Foundation. She is an  interspiritual director/mentor, educator and counselor who has been pointing people back toward the Sacred for nearly thirty years. 

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  • Home
  • About
    • Speaking
  • Spiritual Direction
    • Grief Companion Training
    • Supervision
    • Testimonials
  • Counseling Services
    • Grief Support
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    • Podcasts
    • Metta - Lovingkindness Practice
    • Vimeo
    • You Tube
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